QLC

I am having a quarter life crisis. Though i will be turning 25 by June, I am starting to feel the blues slowly getting inside me.

I met the term "quarter life crisis" when i was in college. It was through an article that was emailed to me by a friend. I never thought seriously about it until now that i am actually experiencing it. There are just times that loneliness hits me out of nowhere.

Like last tuesday, i received a text message from my brother which made me sad. i have done a lot of thinking since then. i have been reflecting on what happened in our lives. i think that my brother, mom and me have gone through a lot for the past few years. and when dad died last year, it was very depressing for all of us. we are still coping with the situation and with our emotions. but there is nothing to worry about. i know its just a phase that we have to go through and we are going to be ok.

Signs

i went to work thirty fucking minutes late today!!! and its becoming a habit already and i wonder why. is it because my career is reaching its toll? hmmmmm... whatever making my ass lazy, i am sure it is not a good sign.

talking about signs, last night, while eating dinner at sushiya in megamall strip with office friends, a song was playing in the background. it was a good and very relaxing until it got irritating because it was the only song being played. we told the waiter about it but he said that the restaurant has no control of it and that the mall is the one whose contnuously playing it since the evening started. there is nothing we can do about it but eat dinner while we listen to the woman as she sings cats steven's father and sons for more than five times. it only stopped when the mall started to close. it played for more than two hours. talk about having a last song syndrome. what is this song telling me? as the lyrics says:

it’s not time to make a change,
just sit down, take it slowly.
you’re still young, that’s your fault,
there’s so much you have to go through.

whatever the song means, i think its telling something. i will just figure it out.

Home Sick

i am starting to miss mom. her one week stay here in manila last february was not enough for us to enjoy each other's company. but we were able to have a great time. i took her to the globe platinum cinema in gateway that offers bottomless popcorn and drinks. we also got to seat on the lazy boy!!! it was very relaxing. we also went to tiendesittas and rode the kalesa. and the other days was spent with relatives. i am happy to be with my cousins, aunties and ofcourse, my mother. i will make her come back and let her bring along my brother so we can spend time to be together. i always wanted that to happen.

Bonding

i am meeting my mom this afternoon. she just arrived this morning from the province and is staying at my aunt's house for a couple of days. i am happy that she came to visit. its bonding time later!!!

i will also be bonding with two friends of mine that i have not seen for a long time. trajan called a few days ago inviting me for a dinner he is planning to organize for our college organization. he also told me that he is now a real estatebroker and at the same time a banker. i think he is now earning a lot of money and plans to share some of his commissions to me if i help him in the estate business. hmmm...sounds tempting.

i also plan to meet up janice. i just got her digits today and we were texting each other about catching up with old times. the last time i saw her was last 2000. she told me she works at ortigas during regular hours. we have not set a date yet butwe will. soon.

surprise

i was surprised last friday when raui texted me that a client of ours gave me mangoes. i cannot remember any extraoridnary thing that i did that deserve such reward. when i went to the office in the afternoon, i saw a basket of dozen mangoes!!! such sweetness!!! i gave some to my colleagues and kept a few to myself. i found out that the client gave me a reward as a compliment for assisting her in activating her atm card. it was just an easy service and i was recognized for it!!! its the simple things that counts a lot!!! i think i am doing a good job!!!

i am late for work again! this happened many times already this january. i have been setting my alarm clock at 4 a.m. and my mobile phone's alrm at 4:30 a.m. and i keep on getting up at 5 a.m. i only got less than an hour left to prepare myself for my morning shift which starts at 6 a.m and ends at 3 p.m.. good thing though my place is just near my office but i am still late. arrrgh!!!

i am just liitle bit worried on my standard of performance for this month. i think i will be getting a grade of 5 which means fail. better luck next time!!!

on the lighter side, i went to the movies with jenny yesterday. we watched "don't give up on us". it was nice wathcing the scenes takes place at baguio and sagada. it reminded me of an outing that i had with my college orgmates at paktil, mountain province four years ago. its one of the best places i have been to. when you are up there in the mountians, you can see the air that you are breathing. there is a lot of fogs. its like you are in neverland. and best of all, the view is fantastic. you will definitely smell the earth and be in touch with nature. i wish i can go back.

kung hei fat choi!!! its chinese new year today and i got no plans of celebrating it. i intend to do a little bit of household chores later. i just have to finish my half day shift today and go back home and start cleaning, ironing, and washing my clothes.

but before doing that i have to eat. i have not taken breakfast yet. i ate fish crackers last night which i bought at tiendesittas two days ago. it was my first time to go there. rose and jackie brought me there for dinnner. we went to bonnie's. they serve good barbecue which is there best seller. we also had flavored suman which we ordered from another store. we had ube, chocolate and mais con macapuno suman. all of them were delicious and its making me more hungry. i am gonna eat after work. for the mean time, i will open my can of butter cookies and eat a few pieces.

i called up my mom yesterday to know how things are going on at home. i was happy to find out that everything is doing okay and that she and my brother patched things up already. i also talked to my brother. he sounded good. i said that i miss them so much. i think i will be calling them more often.

i just got a text from my friend niki telling me that she is having an l.b.m probably because we ate too much oysters last night. we had fresh steamed and rockefeller oysters plus seaweed salad and crispy tadyang at oyster boy. it was very delicious. meluz was also with us. i wonder if her stomach got upset too.mine is perfectly ok. vanessa and her boyfriend joined us later. we were putting the couple on hot seat since it was our first time to see our friend in love. yeebah!!

and another friend of mine is falling in love. i spent my friday night with joel, bareng and some friends of theirs over bottles of beer. i found out that joel have found someone he likes as in really likes and he is working on having a relationship with her but he is having a hard time reading the signs. bareng and i were all ears to his stories. bareng even teased him to forget about her. hahaha! its easy for bareng to say that. i think it would be difficult for joel to forget her special someone because he is in love. another yeeebaahh!!!

i thought things are gonna be okay between my mom and brother. i was wrong. they are still not getting along very well. i do not know what really happened between the two. i have heard each other side of story but i am still totally clueless.

this "thing" between my mom and brother started when dad passed away. at first, i was just observing their behavior. i was trying to find out what went wrong. i already have a hint but its too early to tell right now. i really haven't had real talk with them yet. all our communication was through text, phone and email. my mom and i have been texting each other and my brother sent me an email. i plan to go home and have "heart to heart talk" with them as soon as i fix my work schedule.

i do not like what is happening now. its making me sad. the best that i can do now is pray.

i will be working for a new employer this coming march 1. well, its not just me but all of us here at citiphone because we got outsourced!!!

yup yup yup!!! this was announced last monday during the general assembly and all of my co-workers got surprised. no one knew except our head that we will become seconded employee this year. and no one knows if this is a good or bad thing for us. all we know is that we will be working for crescent, the business process outsource unit of citigroup. goodbye citibank!!! hello crescent!!!

i was able to say a big hello also to some people i have not sen for a loooong time this week. i met scarlet and yeye last friday at eastwood. its been a year i have not seen the two. we did a little bit of catching up over a pack of winston lights. i also met my classmates from college last wednesday during the wake of mark's mother. anthony, toyz. joel and mark was there. we did a little bit of reminiscing of our college days. and after the wake, we went to burger king and saw bareng, another classmate of ours. he was getting ready to study his law subjects at 2 a.m. at a fastfood store. upon seeing him with all the books, pens and papers, i felt like i wanted to go back to school. gee! i miss my student life!!!

last sunday, mariel and i went to the movies. we watched “blue moon”. in the middle of the movie, she started to laugh and blurted out, "di ko kinaya 'to!, ang dami naghahanap ng true love!". it was in the scene where there was a long queue of women in their prime pretending to be corazon.

mariel was right. there are a lot of people, young and old, who are looking for love --- the kind of love that remains unquestionable no matter what happens. whoever your true love is, i know, as the slogan of the movie says, it only comes once in a blue moon.

speaking of true love, mylene got married!!! i attended her wedding yesterday with ellerie and jenny. we took pictures of the lovely couple and of ourselves. it was a church wedding. actually, it was a cute little chapel in a subdivision and beside it was a tent where the reception was held. it was very simple yet elegant celebration.

best wishes to mr. and mrs. del ponso and good luck to all of us in our search for true love!!!

Happy Endings and New Beginnings

As i leave behind the year 2005, I find myself trying to remember the good times and trying to forget the bad times. I find myself thinking about the future.

I start to wonder what i am gonna do, where i am gonna be.i know that i will never ever know what kind of life holds for me. I am sure it will be different. 

Whatever the year 2006 brings, I will make the most out of it. Here’s for happy endings and new beginnings! Happy new year!

Welcoming 2006

Last night, i was planning to write a new year's resolution. i was thinking of making a to do list for 2006. and while a lot of plans was running through my head, i suddenly changed my mind because i remembered that i suck at keeping resolutions. every new year i tell myself that i am going to work something out like dropping a few pounds and then few months after i put if off. maybe next year. maybe never.

instead of sitting my ass down and writing my aims in life, i listened to the twenty best songs of 2005 which was played in the radio. the number one song was mariah carey's it's like that and i sang along with it as i welcome 2006!!!

happy new year to one and all!!!