Peepao

I learned days ago that Fiona Apple lost her dog. I learned now a friend of mine lost her cat. Two months ago I lost my dog.

The name Peepao came from a MySpace profile account which my officemate saw in the office. She called me as I passed by her workstation and said "Josh, Tingnan mo oh ang cute ng name". I also found the name uniquely cute.

When I went home in 2006, six months old Peepao greeted me with his barks as I entered our gate. He was in dog chains attached to a barbel to keep him from running around. Months later, I told Mom to let him stay inside to the house to give us comfort in our grief over father's death.

We got Peepao three months after my father's death. He was given to us by our help. From then on, we enjoyed Peepao having around inside the house.

He was a very friendly and happy dog. He has silver thread like coat. He likes to eat paper and tissue. When he is hungry for dog food or human food, he puts his face in between our legs especially when we are eating in the dinner table. He barks loud and every bark would mean something. Either he wants to go out to pee or he saw a rat in the cabinets. Though he dislike taking a bath, he does not smell that bad.

I attended a party the night before he passed away. I came home tired and crashed in the sofa. Peepao followed me and stayed beside me. I was touching his coat repeatedly while I tried to get some sleep. He was still alive when I woke up to have an early morning walk. But when I came back he was gone.

I found him lying in the living room after opening the light on an early morning. I called out his name "Pao, Pao" but he did not respond anymore. He was frozen. I woke up my mom to help me wrapped him in a bag.

Peepao came to our lives when we were grieving. He went ahead a few weeks after my nephew's first visit and a few days after my younger brother visit at home. Pets like people come to our lives for a purpose. And before we part ways, we want to be with those persons that means so much to us.

A friend of mine once said, that dogs die in order to save us from something bad happening to us. I do not know now what Peepao saved me from. All I know is though his life, Peepao saved us from grieving. Peepao made us and our home happy.

Heart and Souls

I saw Heart and Souls when I  was in high school. It is one of the movies I like that taught me about losing our loved ones. There was also this short story I read in college about All Saint's and All Soul's Day Celebration that touched me. I am not sure if it was Candle by Delfin Fresnosa but I can still very much remember the movie and the story especially when November 1 and 2 comes.

As always, Mom and I visited the Albay Public cemetery where our descendants were buried. I was never afraid to go to cemeteries. When Dad was alive, I would go with him in the morning and hold his umbrella as he light a candle to his mom and dad, my lola and lolo.

Mom, me and my brother would go back at night. The three of us would stay for a few hours and pray silently. I would also go around the cemetery with my aunts to collect candle drippings and  to look at beautifully laid graves.

Its only me and my mom now visiting our loved ones who passed on. We attended mass at the chapel in the cemetery.  The celebrant was the same priest who also officiated mass during the wake of my dad and my grand aunt. I cannot help but shed a few tears during the mass. I miss the days when the people you love or just knew were still alive. Time is not always a friend.

Here is a note I wrote to our dearly departed:

I stand in front of your name with candles and flowers.
I sit beside your grave with prayers and tears.
I stay with a lifetime of your memories.

Mom offering candles and flowers to Dad.

Swing

I was thinking of a location where I could take a photo of my mom and nephew before he go back to his Dad. As the tricycle passed by the Airport Hotel, I saw a yellow swing. It was the right location.

The sight of the swing brought back childhood memories. I remember riding the swing with a seat made of rubber in Saint Agnes' Academy. I sat on the swing every time I go to school on early mornings. I stayed on the swing until students arrive one at a time. I also remember the swing in our home. Dad built it. It was made of wood where two seats  faced each other. We would sit there with our childhood friends and maids from the apartment in our compound.   

My nephew will no longer experience the swing my Dad built. He will only see it from old pictures. I hope my brother will make a similar one for his son. 

Grandma and Grandson on the swing. 

Looking at the photo inspired me to write a poem dedicated to my nephew. Within the five months my nephew was in Daraga, I and my mom only shared a few rare moments with Third. And the yellow swing at the airport was a precious bonding with our one year and a few days old charming nephew.

Swing

As you stand still on the swing

As you hold on to the chains

As the sun shines

I will always be beside you

As you go up in the air

As you go down on the ground

As raindrops fall

I will always be beside you

As the cadence goes a little faster

As the earth moves a little closer

I will always be beside you

I will always be beside you

Manito

It is neither a habit of mine to "maki-piyesta" nor a family practice of ours to celebrate our town's fiesta. But a few days ago, a friend of mine invited me to a fiesta celebration of St. Raphael the Archangel in Manito, Albay.

Manito is among the towns located on the mountains that I always see every time I cross Rizal St. in Penaranda Park. It was in 2007 that I was first invited by my friend to go to Manito with friends from the office. Unfortunately, we did not have enough time to go around the town because we left almost ten am and arrived almost noon. We went first to a port which was under construction, then to a boiling lake or swamp called "naaso" and had lunch at my friend's relatives house.

The most enjoyable part was swimming in the afternoon at the beach in Cawayan, Manito. The beach is not similar to the popular beaches in the Philippines but it brought back nostalgia of Boracay and Puerto Galera. I still even have the tanning lotion I used. While the rest of my colleagues were busy cooking and swimming, I was busy with my tan. I poured generous amount of it all over my body in the hope that I will get a tan but the three to fours hours of swimming and sunbathing did not even help change the color my skin. I miss my tanned look.

We left the shores quickly because the waves were rushing so fast due to high tide. Good thing I was able to save the shells I have collected along the shores earlier which I gave to my mom as souvenir. I also bought a broom which was their famous product.

In September 2009, I went back to Manito. I brought along my students, camera, foods and drinks.We arrived earlier than the last time.We did not only eat, drink and swim but we also did team building activities. It was actually my second team building which I organized. Though it rained later in the afternoon, we still enjoyed our bonding and the setting. We enjoyed so much that we lose track of time. There were no jeepneys passing by anymore because it was almost five pm when we left and it was a Albay District Fiesta holiday. We had a hard time looking for a ride home that I decided that three of us will walk going to the nearest terminal and the rest will stay in the waiting shed and halt a jeepney or a private vehicle that passes by.

I felt a little bit worried while we were walking because there were really no signs of transportation. We stopped in a sari-sari store and after a few minutes we heard voices shouting "Sir! Sir! Sir!". It was my students riding at the back of an L-200 type of vehicle. We got inside the car, smiled and said Thank you to the man and woman as we sat on the back seat.

My students were enjoying the view from the back load that I can even hear their noise inside the car.
I on the other hand was very silent and was praying that no accident will happen. We stopped in an office where the girl who have not introduced herself to us said that she is just going to drop off something. The man driving was probably  her boyfriend.

We were dropped off at Jollikod. I tried to pay for the ride but they did not want to. I was beyond thankful!  

Roles and Relationships

2012 is a year of historical firsts. It is the year my nephew turned one. My nephew, Antolin Acuna III is known as the first grandson, first nephew and first heir of the Acuna Family.

As he turned one, we also celebrated our new roles in the family. Mom being a loving and assertive grand mother, me as a dignified uncle and my brother and sister-in-law as earnest and proud parents. Dad is also doing his guiding role as a grandfather from up above.

The importance of celebrating first birthdays or any other firsts is that we value our new roles and relationships in life. At the same time, we recognize with respect other roles and relationships as well. It is renewed the second, third or last time we celebrate it.

And as we grow up, there will always be someone who will disrespect our roles and relationships. Take for example this scene from the movie A Beautiful Affair:

Sam: I’m not giving him up.

Rafi: Don’t confuse love with sex sweetie.

Sam: It’s not the sex. I love him.

Rafi: It’s not love either. So stop thinking that in your twisted, psychotic, delusional little head.

Sam: You don’t have to be rude you know.

Rafi: I was given that right the moment you slept with Anton.

A wife has a right to be rude to someone who have disrespected her role as a wife. Similarly, we all have a right to be rude to someone who have disrespected our roles and relationships in life.

Musings in the Dormitory

Scribbling a few notes kept me company during the days when my only entertainment was books in 2003. After eleven plus years I still have it with me.

I wrote two sentences about the moon. I can not exactly remember what I was feeling or experiencing when I wrote it but probably I was feeling homesick which I usually felt at the dormitory.

The moon has taught me not to weep for wandering souls. 

They have to find their light among the stars that shine so bright.

Inspired by my first ever visit  to Baclaran Church after a job interview in a freight company, I wrote a note in Filipino entitled "Novena". I remember that t was almost noon when I came to light a candle and pray that I can get a job the soonest.

Ako ay yuyuko
Sa harap ng mga rebultong
Pinapalibutan ng mga kandila at sampaguita

Ipipikit ko ang aking mata 
At ibubulong ko kay Santa Maria
Ang aking pagkakasala

Ako ay luluhod sa gitna ng altar
Dahan-dahan maglalakad patungo kay Hesukristo
At hihingi ng pagpatawad sa aking pagkatao

Every Child is Special

I recalled my four years of teaching and more than fifteen years of student experience while I watched the movie “Every Child is Special”.  Though I have not experienced teaching a student with dyslexia, I was still able to relate to the movie because I once had students and a teacher who had a disability.

I had a teacher in crutches who taught Human Behavior in Organization. Despite his condition, he was a very effective teacher because I learned to read and understand business books like "Who Moved My Cheese", "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", "The Business Bible" and "Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies". Now that I am a teacher, I also advise my students to read some of those books.

I had a student who walks differently because of a permanent disability. She was a student of mine at Computer Communication Development Institute on the subjects Electronic Commerce, Office Automation and Information Resource Management System. She was able to cope with our lessons and even had her on the job training in Makati. Though a little bit shy at times, she has the drive to learn despite her disability.

When the right moment came to ask about her condition, she told me her story. She said  it was due to an accident when she was in elementary at St. Raphael Academy. A jeepney ran over her and ruined her right legs. She rolled up her pants and showed me the scars covered with bondage. It was sad to know what she had gone through but I admired her willingness to walk up the stairs with autonomy, take the jeepney to school and back to her home in Guinobatan.

In Bicol University-College of Business Economics and Management, a student of mine presented an excuse letter for having been absent in class for three meetings because he was recently diagnosed with glaucoma. His eyes were red every time he attended my class. In one of our classes, I asked him: How are you? He said: “Ok naman po sir pero mahal sir yung gamot”. His reply made me want to do something to help his situation and I suggested to him to send letter to NGO’s or politicians/private individuals that can help him. I have no news from him anymore but he was a diligent student in my Computer Applications and Information System class.

These three people and Ishaan Nandkishore Awasthi taught me two important things. First is to see beyond the physical disability of the learner and to acknowledge the learner’s imperfections – the dancing letters, crutches, scars and red eyes because its the imperfections that makes us beautiful.
                                        

Technology Must Be Crazy

One afternoon in February 1998, I took the Bicol University College Admission Test. While lazily shading circles for answers, I was wishing that there were more lighted florescent bulbs at the back of the old Bicol University Little Amphitheater where I was seated. I was also saying to myself with conviction that, “I do not want to study at Bicol University”. I flunked the exam without regret.

I passed the entrance examination at San Beda College. One of the things I enjoyed at San Beda College are the classrooms that were adequately lighted with airconditioning. LCD Projectors were available in every classroom which was kept in a miniature cabinet. Every time we have reporting, we have to request for a key from the Instructional Media Center even in short notice. System units, laptops, video cameras, vcd’s, video editing services, cassette and video tapes were also available.

We also spend five pesos per transparencies at a nearby photocopy center. To limit the expenses, we got used to the habit of including only key words and phrases. One computer is to one student is the rule in the computer laboratory. Aside from our computer teacher, we have a computer laboratory assistant to assist us in case of computer malfunction. We also have six hours of Internet access every semester at the Internet Laboratory.

Fourteen years after, I came back at Bicol University as a part-time professorial lecturer at the College of Business, Economics and Management and as a continuing education student at the College of Education.

With my one semester experience as an educator, I enjoyed my classroom which is known as Information Communications Technology Laboratory. It has airconditioning, thirty computers, LCD Projector and stereo.

But in the middle of the semester, some computers were not anymore usable. Computers became unusable one by one every day. Only twenty four computers survived. Some were under maintenance and the rest were industrial wastes. Even our LCD projector broke down in the middle of February. Refusing to go through the tedious process of reserving and borrowing LCD projector at the Departmental Office, I used Manila Papers as visual aids.

Technology had gone wild. When technology fails, I cannot help myself but smile and laugh. Not a smirk. Not an evil laugh. But a laugh similar to Piolo Pascual when he was interviewed about his break up with Kaycee Concepcion and a giggle akin to talk show host Anderson Cooper. Smiling and laughing reminds me that technology and I can go completely crazy. But I have to make sure I still to do the right job because the best technology is the teacher.

My laughter and smile might harden with the cynicism of the years or turn down at corners through the weight of unanticipated technological tragedies and difficult situations of life. For now, I am glad that I became a teacher that allows me to achieve not just my dream but other dreams as well. As one teacher wrote:

           

 “…as a Teacher, we hope to touch more than one life. In some way, we hope to touch every student, maybe not everyone profoundly, but we hope that we’ll have touch each student by letting him or her know that we care…this is to have succeded”

DC

I left home in the morning to meet my class at Bicol University for the last time. I was about to deliver my thank you speech in front of fifty six junior college students in the computer laboratory when all of a sudden there was power failure. A student of mine said "Sir, sumabog po yung transformer kagabe kaya nagbrownout ngayon". My plan to end the semester on a sentimental mood was ruined with a black out.

I dismissed the class early and  arrived home with an dreadful feeling that my electricity was also shut off not because a transformer blew up but because I was not able to pay seven months of electric bill. And today, March 13, 2011, it happened.

There were no more lights when I turned on the switch and no more music when I turned on the radio. It was only the sounds of my dogs barking and my sigh of imagination of how will I be able to survive alone in pitch black. It has just been a few hours that I have no electricity but it feels like I have been disconnected forever.