Peepao

I learned days ago that Fiona Apple lost her dog. I learned now a friend of mine lost her cat. Two months ago I lost my dog.

The name Peepao came from a MySpace profile account which my officemate saw in the office. She called me as I passed by her workstation and said "Josh, Tingnan mo oh ang cute ng name". I also found the name uniquely cute.

When I went home in 2006, six months old Peepao greeted me with his barks as I entered our gate. He was in dog chains attached to a barbel to keep him from running around. Months later, I told Mom to let him stay inside to the house to give us comfort in our grief over father's death.

We got Peepao three months after my father's death. He was given to us by our help. From then on, we enjoyed Peepao having around inside the house.

He was a very friendly and happy dog. He has silver thread like coat. He likes to eat paper and tissue. When he is hungry for dog food or human food, he puts his face in between our legs especially when we are eating in the dinner table. He barks loud and every bark would mean something. Either he wants to go out to pee or he saw a rat in the cabinets. Though he dislike taking a bath, he does not smell that bad.

I attended a party the night before he passed away. I came home tired and crashed in the sofa. Peepao followed me and stayed beside me. I was touching his coat repeatedly while I tried to get some sleep. He was still alive when I woke up to have an early morning walk. But when I came back he was gone.

I found him lying in the living room after opening the light on an early morning. I called out his name "Pao, Pao" but he did not respond anymore. He was frozen. I woke up my mom to help me wrapped him in a bag.

Peepao came to our lives when we were grieving. He went ahead a few weeks after my nephew's first visit and a few days after my younger brother visit at home. Pets like people come to our lives for a purpose. And before we part ways, we want to be with those persons that means so much to us.

A friend of mine once said, that dogs die in order to save us from something bad happening to us. I do not know now what Peepao saved me from. All I know is though his life, Peepao saved us from grieving. Peepao made us and our home happy.

Heart and Souls

I saw Heart and Souls when I  was in high school. It is one of the movies I like that taught me about losing our loved ones. There was also this short story I read in college about All Saint's and All Soul's Day Celebration that touched me. I am not sure if it was Candle by Delfin Fresnosa but I can still very much remember the movie and the story especially when November 1 and 2 comes.

As always, Mom and I visited the Albay Public cemetery where our descendants were buried. I was never afraid to go to cemeteries. When Dad was alive, I would go with him in the morning and hold his umbrella as he light a candle to his mom and dad, my lola and lolo.

Mom, me and my brother would go back at night. The three of us would stay for a few hours and pray silently. I would also go around the cemetery with my aunts to collect candle drippings and  to look at beautifully laid graves.

Its only me and my mom now visiting our loved ones who passed on. We attended mass at the chapel in the cemetery.  The celebrant was the same priest who also officiated mass during the wake of my dad and my grand aunt. I cannot help but shed a few tears during the mass. I miss the days when the people you love or just knew were still alive. Time is not always a friend.

Here is a note I wrote to our dearly departed:

I stand in front of your name with candles and flowers.
I sit beside your grave with prayers and tears.
I stay with a lifetime of your memories.

Mom offering candles and flowers to Dad.

Swing

I was thinking of a location where I could take a photo of my mom and nephew before he go back to his Dad. As the tricycle passed by the Airport Hotel, I saw a yellow swing. It was the right location.

The sight of the swing brought back childhood memories. I remember riding the swing with a seat made of rubber in Saint Agnes' Academy. I sat on the swing every time I go to school on early mornings. I stayed on the swing until students arrive one at a time. I also remember the swing in our home. Dad built it. It was made of wood where two seats  faced each other. We would sit there with our childhood friends and maids from the apartment in our compound.   

My nephew will no longer experience the swing my Dad built. He will only see it from old pictures. I hope my brother will make a similar one for his son. 

Grandma and Grandson on the swing. 

Looking at the photo inspired me to write a poem dedicated to my nephew. Within the five months my nephew was in Daraga, I and my mom only shared a few rare moments with Third. And the yellow swing at the airport was a precious bonding with our one year and a few days old charming nephew.

Swing

As you stand still on the swing

As you hold on to the chains

As the sun shines

I will always be beside you

As you go up in the air

As you go down on the ground

As raindrops fall

I will always be beside you

As the cadence goes a little faster

As the earth moves a little closer

I will always be beside you

I will always be beside you